Games are made to entertain. They have been created to enthrall players of all ages the world over. Although its main purpose is as such, there are some games who – sadly – never got the memo. Games so badly made that it makes you question what went on the developer’s mind as they created it. Here are the top 5 games we think shouldn’t have made it out to the general public.
5. I Am Bread
Do you easily bust a vein over a slight incongruence in a game? Then this game (developed by Bossa Studios) is not for you. (Seriously, it isn’t). The game mechanics is quite simple. Lunge a single piece of loaf bread from a kitchen table to a hair dryer or some toasting paraphernalia for it to cook nicely and become toasted bread. Easy enough right? WRONG. This is where the game gets really frustrating and can (or will) send you to a fit of rage bordering destroying your controller just because. The way you move the bread is downright excruciating to muster let alone propelling it across a kitchen set-up. Should you fall on the floor or latch unto something dirty, its edible meter plummets dramatically until it becomes unsuitable for consumption which forces you to restart the painstaking process all over again. There is no possible end to this foodie nightmare.
4. Tony Hawk’s – Pro Skater 5
To grace, this list’s 4th place is – Tony Hawk’s – Pro Skater 5. This game is a major ‘fame to shame’ game to have been released in 2015 as the 5th installment to the Tony Hawk franchise. The game was developed by Robomodo, Disruptive Games and Fun Labs and was supposed to be the game to continue the franchise’ legacy with being its four predecessors branded as ridiculously fun and endlessly entertaining. But when this came out, everything turned out to become a major disappointment. The performance issues were just so glaring that it always throws you off your groove far too often by glitches, hiccups and collision disasters. It even goes against simple geometry where it just goes through physical barriers (where you should’ve stopped and fell over on) or shots right up (in the air) or down (to the ground) for no apparent reason. Its controls are no exception as well. Making this game a bit queasy to play let alone complete.
3. Life of Black Tiger
This is the reason why we should always think twice before upgrading an iOS game to be remade and released into the PSN store. This game developed and published by 1Games was an instantaneous flop when it was released way back January of this year. You take on the character of a (you guessed it), a big black tiger and your main task is to run around each level following (or mauling) humans, hunting specific animals or surviving for a specific number of time. Its graphics is so horrible and the textures are downright grainy. On top of it all, controlling the tiger is pretty challenging to do since its controls are incomprehensible where the tiger lurches in two different directions even with a simple gesture of having it to move forward. The plot is not well-made and the music as well as the sound effects cut-off in the most abrupt of ways making this game a ‘no-go’ in my To-Buy list.
2. Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor
From the makers of Steel Battalion: Line of Contact comes this installment that was more of a let-down than an upper. Developed by From Software and released by Capcom for the Xbox 360+Kinect tandem, this game is another disappointment that you should avoid buying at all cost. It boasts the Xbox’s Kinect technology which supposedly allows players to immerse into the game far more than a regular game by handing them the controls to actually simulate movement while playing. This was supposed to be an exciting perk to the Xbox platform for gamers which would rival the PS4’s Eye but horribly backfired when they released this game. It’s playability with Kinect is so bad that it resulted to the player becoming frustrated since the system is unable to properly read the players movements thus not allowing the mecha in the game to not move at all. The installment is nowhere connected to its predecessor nor is it in-line with its supposedly Chinese-inspired antagonist since it somewhat shows impressions of Nazi-acting AI’s. The storyline is nothing but a clichè of past war games and is full of stereotypical acting which makes it as our Top2 on this hideous list.
1. Ride to Hell: Retribution
And the icing to our cake of games to avoid while browsing your nearest game store is Ride to Hell: Retribution. Then this game is definitely one you should definitely shun since it’s a complete and utter insult to waste your hard-eared cash on. From crappy controls which are insanely impossible to get used to to hideously portrayed graphics where your character disappears into limbo and have the surroundings disappear around you when doing a motorcycle chase. This game is one disappointment you should always remember. Ride to Hell: Retribution was developed by Eutechnyx and published by Deep Silver on both the PS3 and Xbox 360. The game just plainly sucks donkey eggs entirely because of everything it has to offer. From its initial opening impression which entirely spoils the plot to an extent to insinuating that bikers are stupid because they kill and rape victims just because not to mention showing a protagonist that’s downright borderline psychotic. Eutechnyx should re-think in doing another game with this kind of design on their drawing board.